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Monthly Archives: April 2019

Marriage is Not an Escape

In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul gives advice about our romantic relationships. As we continue looking at these, he now talks about those who have never been married (virgins).

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
1 Corinthians 7:25-28

You may think, from reading this passage, that Paul was against marriage. That’s not the case. This is referencing a certain situation that was happening in his day.

Persecution was beginning to break out against the church in some locations. That’s what he meant by this present crisis. He wanted them to weigh their decision carefully because of the uncertain future.

This is a very important concept for us to understand in our generation. As a pastor, I’ve had the privilege of bringing many couples through the pre-marital counseling process. It gives a lot of insight into what Paul is talking about here.

Let me explain. In talking with couples, I ask them to give reasons why this marriage is right for them. I’ve heard many answers. There are some that don’t sit well with me.

“I want to get married now because this is the first person that has ever shown any interest in me and I don’t want to lose him.”

That’s not a reason to pledge your life to someone. God is able to bring the right person along at the right time. You can’t make a life altering decision, based only on someone’s availability and your desire to be married.

There are other issues as well. I’ve seen people who are single but are in a bad family situation. Their parents have an addiction problem or are very abusive. They see marriage as an easy escape from their home environment.

This can end up making a bad situation even worse. Marriage is not an escape from your problems. If anything, it brings you a whole new set of problems.

I say this not at all getting down on marriage. I’ve been married to my wife for almost 40 years. I wouldn’t want any other life. I love everything about our times together.

But I can tell you this – there are problems we faced together that we would never have had as single people. Marriage comes with its own unique set of challenges. You have to be prepared for this as a couple.

If you’re single, don’t ever look to marriage as an escape from a bad situation. You may dream about being married someday. But being married is never better than being single – UNLESS – you marry the special person that God has chosen for you.

So, to all the singles out there, I’m telling you to put your hope in the Lord. If you want to stay single, then do so without feeling guilty. If you want to be married, then trust God to bring you the right person at just the right time.

God wants your life to be abundantly blessed.

Question: How have you trusted God in your relationships?

Bloom Where You’re Planted

03 Apr

We’re continuing to look at Paul’s first letter to the Corinthian church. He’s now getting into some guiding principles as he talks about relationships in chapter 7.

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
1 Corinthians 7:17

The context of this verse is that you shouldn’t end your marriage just because you got saved. If your partner wants to remain together, even though they might not be a Christian, then allow the Holy Spirit to work through your relationship.

This is a guideline that Paul teaches in all of his churches. It literally says that whatever portion God has assigned to you when He calls you; remain in it.

The Lord doesn’t work like a steam roller. He doesn’t come into your life and tear everything down.

Cults do that. When you join a cult, many times they’ll tell you to leave your family and cut all ties with your friends. That’s not how the Lord works.

Normally, the Holy Spirit will work on you from the inside out. He wants the people who know you best to see the change as it’s happening. Then it will be a witness to them of the power of God.

Paul uses an example of circumcision to make his point.

Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts.
1 Corinthians 7:18-19

The fact is that God can use anyone. You don’t have to change who you are in order to serve Him faithfully. The bottom line is that you hear and obey God’s voice.

He speaks to His people and we obey. It’s a step by step process. If there’s something in our lives that needs changing, then the Lord will provide the power to bring that about.

Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you — although if you can gain your freedom, do so. For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ’s slave.
1 Corinthians 7:20-22

Paul talks about some situations that we find ourselves in that aren’t ideal. Unfortunately, they’re not easy to get out of. In this case, it’s slavery. In those days it wasn’t all like the American version. For some, slavery was a voluntary way to repay a debt. For others, it was a penalty for a crime committed.

For us, it might be a massive amount of debt or multiple jobs in order to pay your bills. Paul explains that in these types of situations, don’t worry about it. Let God work through it.

But there is hope during those times. We’re told the if we have the power to become free, then use it. We don’t have to remain downtrodden. Through prayer and obedience to the voice of God, our situation can and will improve.

You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.
1 Corinthians 7:23-24

However, it’s important that we don’t knowingly place ourselves in these types of situations. We want to be able to give our best for the Lord.

Question: How has God used your unique position in the past?

Marriage Between Light and Dark

01 Apr

In my last post, we saw the Apostle Paul’s teaching on divorce between Christian couples. Now he goes on to talk about marriages between a Christian and a non-Christian.

To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
1 Corinthians 7:12-13

In this case, there’s a special set of circumstances. You have two vastly different kingdoms living under the same roof.

It’s the problem of light and darkness coming together. They don’t mix very well. In many cases, the unbelieving spouse finds it very convicting as they live with a believer. This is true even when the Christian isn’t actively trying to win them to Christ.

Because of this, Paul says that the decision should be left in the hands of the unbeliever. If they’re willing to remain in the relationship, then the marriage should stay intact.

The reason it works this way is because of the influence of the Holy Spirit. The Christian spouse brings a covenant blessing into the home because of their faith.

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
1 Corinthians 7:14

Please understand what Paul’s saying here. The unbeliever is made clean in a ceremonial sense. They’re not saved by the spouse. A clean rock is still a rock.

God gives the unbeliever a position of cleanness. This is so that the children can come under the covenant blessing. Because of the believer, they’re covered by God’s promises.

God will always desire for the marriage to remain together. That’s because the Holy Spirit has a chance to work on the heart of the unbeliever.

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
1 Corinthians 7:15-16

As in all things, the rule is peace. God wants our homes to be a refuge of peace. That’s why He will not keep a believer and an unbeliever bound together. A battleground between light and dark is no place to live.

God’s desire is for our best. He wants our homes to be a place of blessing for both parents and children.

Question: How can God work on the unbeliever even if they decide to leave the marriage?

The Spirit and the Word

Monthly Archives: April 2019

Marriage is Not an Escape

Bloom Where You’re Planted

Marriage Between Light and Dark

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