We’re continuing through the book of Ephesians. We’re coming to the part where many use it to force others to do their will. That’s not the intent. Listen carefully to how the apostle begins this section.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21 NIV

This verse literally says to place yourselves under one another in the fear of God. That’s where it starts. God is the one in charge. I’m submitting myself to His authority.

Then, no matter where He places me, I’m under His care. The Lord is still on the throne. I don’t have to worry or get upset about what others are doing. I have to make sure my attitude is right.

Paul then talks about different areas of submission.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV

I know that there are many husbands who use this to demand absolute obedience in their homes. Is that really what this is saying?

The key question is, how does the church submit to Christ? How do you submit to Christ? The fact is that Jesus doesn’t show up at your door demanding you to do something. Then, if you don’t follow through, does He scold you for your disobedience?

That’s not how our Lord operates. He lets us know what His desire is for us. But then, it’s up to us whether we pursue it or not.

Of course, many times husbands will ignore the next part. I think it’s the most difficult to accomplish.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Ephesians 5:25-27 NIV

This is a hard road to follow. As a husband, I need to see the example of Christ and the church. Then, I must live it out the way Christ does.

What does this mean? Think about it. How is the Lord perfecting His church? Does He use yelling and tantrums when He doesn’t get His way? Absolutely not.

Right now, Jesus is at the right hand of the Father making intercession for His church. He is speaking the Word of God over us. This is the path that a good husband must take.

How much time do you spend in prayer for your family? That’s what it comes down to – time spent in prayer. That’s where we have to lay down our lives.

There are so many other things we want to do. Playing sports or video games can take up a lot of our time. How important is our family to us?

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:28-33 NIV

This section says it all. If I’m not giving up something, then I’m not following through with this. A great husband and wife relationship requires a form of submission from both parties.

I can say that my wife and I have been married for over 40 years. This is what keeps us together and happy through whatever comes our way.

Question: How well do you submit to Christ?

© 2023 Nick Zaccardi