We’ve been going through Peter’s first letter to the church. We’re now in chapter 3, which deals with husband and wife relationships. The apostle continues to give some insight for wives.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV
He starts by saying that the beauty of a godly woman should not be all about the external view. This is true even though we live in an externally conscious society. Unfortunately, many Christians have fallen into this trap.
It’s not the elaborate hairstyles or gold decorations that should be impressing people about who you are. He also makes a statement that should speak volumes to the women of our generation. You shouldn’t be following the investing of yourself into the clothing of the world.
What kind of look is he talking about? It’s the outfit that screams, “LOOK AT ME!!!” That’s the world’s way of adornment.
This self-promotion shouldn’t be the priority of the believer. Our world view should be more toward emphasizing the concealed person of the heart. The question is; would you rather them comment on your new hairdo more than your prayer life?
You have to come to the realization that your life is not all about you. It’s about your relationship to Christ and your husband.
The fact is that everything in the first statement of the above passage decays and goes out of style. But the second half gives you spiritual power.
The word, gentle, above, is actually the word meek. I know we don’t like that word, but in reality, meekness is not weakness. The Scriptural definition is your strength under the control of the Lord.
The next way Peter describes the godly wife is with a quiet spirit. This literally means that you are undisturbed. You know who you are and where you belong and nothing can move you from it.
God says that this type of life is extremely expensive. That’s why so few women pay for it. They’d much rather get the clothes, jewelry, and hairstyles.
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1 Peter 3:5-6 NIV
This is the conclusion of the issue. As a wife, you know your husband’s shortcomings. So, what you have to do is to put your hope – your expectations – in God and not your husbands. (They are fallible and will let you down.)
The godly women of Scripture learned how to arrange themselves correctly under God, by arranging themselves under their husbands. Then, they had nothing to be afraid of.
This does not mean that a wife is a doormat to be walked on by her husband. She can be a strong individual. Look at Sarah in Genesis 21, where she made it clear to Abraham how she felt about Ishmael. He followed her exhortation.
The path to godly womanhood reaps eternal rewards.
Question: Do you see any examples of this in your life?
© 2025 Nick Zaccardi
The Spirit and the Word 