I’m continuing through Peter’s first letter. In my last post I started talking about submission in the husband and wife relationship. Remember that submission is a personal choice to arrange yourself under someone.
But the question comes up; why does the Lord tell a wife to arrange herself under her husband? For the answer, we need to go back to the last verse we looked at in 1 Peter.
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
1 Peter 3:1-2 NIV
The verse literally says to do this so that if any husbands are not convinced to obey the Word they may be won over without words. It says that they are inspecting the wife’s behavior.
The Lord wants them to see that this behavior is clean, innocent, modest, and pure. Of course this is accomplished under the fear of God, not the fear of your husband.
This verse is not necessarily talking about the salvation of the husband as much as his obedience. Is your husband obeying the Word as he should?
If you remember from my last post that Christ is the Head of the home, not the husband. The husband must arrange himself under Christ. And that’s not as easy to do as it is to say.
I feel that it’s important for me to take a side track to talk about this. It’s something that’s misunderstood very often.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Ephesians 5:21-23 NIV
On the surface, that sounds like a good arrangement, if you’re a husband. But, there’s more to it that we seem to forget.
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
Ephesians 5:24-25 NIV
We are to love our wives the same way Christ loves the church. That’s a tall order. It says that He gave Himself up for her. That word, gave, literally means He surrendered and yielded up himself for her.
In actuality, the husband is called to surrender himself for his wife. What does this mean to us as husbands? What did it mean for Christ and the church?
I’ve heard so many husbands say things like, “I’ll do my job when she does hers.” The fact is, that’s Adam talking – it’s all her fault. That’s not loving like Christ.
He took the initiative to relate to the church. He showed love first, never getting a commitment that His “bride” would follow suit.
In my next post I’m going to continue this thought to show just how deep this calling to surrender goes. It could possibly change the whole course of your marriage relationship.
Question: How much of your life are you willing to lay down for others?
© 2025 Nick Zaccardi
The Spirit and the Word 